How To Accomplish Your To-Do List
In The First Ten Minutes of Your Day
****
By Blake Olson
Learn how to kick your mornings
into the fastest gear possible...and your Mom's, too!
1. First things first, don't waste any time after you are out the crib...dump out the nearest box of toys.
Don't take up too much time playing with them, though. 
2. Mom's love a poopy diaper in the first ten minutes of their day. Especially if it leaks onto your clothes. While she is distracted cleaning up that fun mess, find a box of crayons, dump them on the floor and take off running to your mom's secluded bathroom.
3. Pull up a chair and experiement with her makeup.
Tip: It takes practice to be stealth-like. And I've had a lot of practice.
4. Move along quickly or you'll get caught. Head to the kitchen and more than likely, you will find a irresponsible sibling's bowl of cereal deserted at the table. Proceed to a carpeted hallway and dump it all out when you realize it's soggy. Isn't this fun?
I know, I'm real good at what I do.
5. If you are around 22 months like me, you may be good at taking off your diaper, too. You can make your parents wonder if you are ready to potty train OR if you are just a stinker (we all know it's really the 2nd option).
For no other reason other than 'just because', take off your diaper and pee on the carpet. It wouldn't be a bad idea to try and include a piece of furniture, either. This is a great finale to the end of the first ten minutes of your day.
For no other reason other than 'just because', take off your diaper and pee on the carpet. It wouldn't be a bad idea to try and include a piece of furniture, either. This is a great finale to the end of the first ten minutes of your day.
Tip: Ease the verdict of your punishment by saying something cute, like
"peepees!" or "pobby!" or "baaaafroom!"
"peepees!" or "pobby!" or "baaaafroom!"
Follow these simple steps and you are guaranteed to have a great day.
...and don't forget to just keep smilin'!
